You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Randomize
