She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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