Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I touched a dick in church today
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
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