dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
