last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
