he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
