And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
