she sounds like chewbacca in bed
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
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