grandma shit on top of the toilet
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
