Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
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