Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
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