remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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