I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
