i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
