Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
