the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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