dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Just cropdusted the office
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
