is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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