you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
3pm strippers are depressing
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
and you fell through a lawn chair
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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