I need help removing her.
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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