Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
