yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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