so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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