How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
