dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
he fucked my hip out of place.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Randomize
