I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
