Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
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