Taylor Swift is so right about you.
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
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