lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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