bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I need to sanitize my soul.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
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