In the future we'll all be gay
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
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