My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Randomize
