In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
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