question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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