I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Randomize
