I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
