Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
