im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
