I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
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