I wanna bring you to show and tell
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
