kristin has been a bad kristin
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize
