butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
