it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
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