well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Randomize
