reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
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