Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
