Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Randomize
