Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
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