Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
Randomize
