If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
that is very illegal...i love you.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Randomize
